Why Couples Often Wait Too Long to Seek Therapy—and Why It Matters

The Delay in Seeking Help

Recent research indicates that couples often wait significant periods before seeking therapy. For instance, Williamson, Altman, Hsueh, and Bradbury (2020) found that couples typically delay therapy for an average of 2.68 years after problems begin. This postponement is often due to stigma surrounding therapy, lack of awareness, or the belief that issues will resolve on their own. Similarly, Hall (2021) reported that couples waited approximately 2.5 years from the onset of significant relationship issues before seeking professional help.

Consequences of Waiting

Delaying therapy can lead to entrenched negative interaction patterns and increased dissatisfaction. Over time, unresolved conflicts erode emotional intimacy and trust, making reconciliation significantly more difficult. Couples may become locked in cycles of blame and withdrawal, which further impedes efforts at repair (Bradbury & Bodenmann, 2020).

The Benefits of Early Intervention

Early engagement in therapy helps couples address conflicts before they become deeply rooted. Therapeutic modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) have demonstrated efficacy in improving emotional bonds and relational satisfaction. Promoting open communication and empathy through early therapy can empower couples to build resilience and deepen their connection (Stahl, Szymanski, & Milek, 2024).

Encouraging Timely Support

Normalizing therapy and reducing stigma are essential for encouraging couples to seek help earlier. Public education and mental health awareness campaigns can inform individuals about the benefits of proactive intervention. Rather than viewing therapy as a last resort, couples should be encouraged to see it as a valuable resource for maintaining emotional health and strengthening their partnership.

Waiting too long to seek therapy can intensify relational challenges, making resolution more difficult. Through timely intervention and the normalization of mental health care, couples can navigate relationship difficulties more constructively and cultivate lasting emotional wellness.

At Well Mind Body, couples can receive specialized care from both Dr. Elizabeth Miller and Mary Beth Lee, LCSW, who are experienced in working with partners who are navigating relationship challenges. Their approach is rooted in evidence-based therapies and personalized support, helping couples strengthen communication, deepen emotional connection, and resolve conflicts with greater clarity and compassion.

Thank you for being here!

References

Bradbury, T. N., & Bodenmann, G. (2020). Interventions for couples. *Annual Review of Clinical Psychology*, 16, 99–123. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-071519-020546

Hall, E. (2021, May 25). Wait time before seeking couples therapy: Results from a new study on help-seeking. *Danielsen Institute*. https://www.bu.edu/danielsen/2021/05/25/wait-time-before-seeking-couples-therapy-results-from-a-new-study-on-help-seeking/

Stahl, B., Szymanski, M., & Milek, A. (2024). Exploring the long-term impact of working alliance in couple therapy: A waiting-list controlled 1-year follow-up study. *Journal of Psychotherapy Integration*, 35(1), 58–67. https://doi.org/10.1037/int0000341

Williamson, H. C., Altman, N., Hsueh, J., & Bradbury, T. N. (2020). How long do people wait before seeking couples therapy? A research note. *Journal of Marital and Family Therapy*, 46(1), 138–144. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12479