For the Dads Who Keep Showing Up: A Father's Day Message About Men's Mental Health
Father's Day is a time to celebrate the dads, stepdads, father figures, and men who show up day after day for the people they love. This Father's Day, we want to talk about something that doesn't get said enough: the mental health of the men who give so much of themselves to others.
The Weight Men Carry in Silence
Men, and fathers in particular, are often socialized from a young age to equate strength with silence. To push through. To provide. To protect. To hold it together, even when everything inside feels like they unraveling.
Men’s Mental Health Statistics
Men are 3.5 times more likely to die by suicide than women (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC], 2022).
6 million men in the United States are affected by depression each year, yet the majority never seek treatment (National Institute of Mental Health [NIMH], 2023).
1 in 10 fathers experience postpartum depression or anxiety following the birth of a child, a statistic that isn’t talked about enough (Paulson & Bazemore, 2010).
Men are significantly less likely to seek mental health support than women, often due to stigma, cultural expectations, and a lack of awareness that what they are experiencing has a name (Addis & Mahalik, 2003).
What Men's Mental Health Actually Looks Like
Depression and anxiety in men often don't look the way we expect. Because men are less likely to express sadness or experiences of overwhelm openly, their symptoms frequently show up differently, and as a result, often go unrecognized.
Signs that a man may be struggling include:
Increased irritability, anger, or frustration
Withdrawing from family, friends, or activities he once enjoyed
Working excessively or staying busy to avoid feeling
Increased use of alcohol or substances
Physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, or chronic fatigue
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
A sense of purposelessness or feeling like a burden
If any of this sounds familiar, whether you're recognizing it in yourself or someone you love, please know that these are signs of a nervous system under stress, not signs of weakness or failure. Please know that you are not alone and that counseling and psychotherapy can help.
The Nervous System Doesn't Take a Day Off
At Well Mind Body, we talk a lot about the nervous system, because it is truly at the root of how we experience everything. Fathers are not exempt from the toll that chronic stress, unprocessed emotion, and relational pressure take on the body and brain.
When we operate in a prolonged state of stress, staying in "provider mode," and rarely resting, the nervous system gets exhausted and overwhelmed. Cortisol levels rise, leep suffers, and connection becomes harder. Patience can start to run thin, and the things that matter most; presence, warmth, attunement with our kids and partners become increasingly difficult to access.
The good news is that the mind and body are remarkably adaptive. With the right support, we can learn to regulate, and come back into balance.
What Support Can Look Like for Men
Therapy is not just for crisis moments. It is a space to process, to be heard, and to develop skills and tools that make you a better version of yourself, for you and for the people you love.
Research consistently shows that men who engage in therapy report improvements in relationship satisfaction, emotional regulation, parenting quality, and overall life satisfaction (Englar-Carlson & Stevens, 2006).
Support can look like:
Individual therapy — a confidential space to talk through stress, identity, relationship dynamics, or anything that feels heavy
Couples therapy — strengthening the partnership that anchors your family
Somatic approaches — body-based tools that help regulate the nervous system when words aren't enough
Peer connection — finding community with other men who are doing the same work
A Note to the Dads Reading This
You don't have to be in crisis to deserve support. You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to keep carrying it alone.
The most powerful thing you can model for your children is not perfection, it is the courage to take care of yourself. When you prioritize your mental health, you show your kids that emotions are not something to be ashamed of, that asking for help is brave, and that the people we love are worth showing up for fully, not just physically, but emotionally.
This Father's Day, we honor all that you carry. And we gently invite you to put a little of it down.
You deserve support too.
If you would like to book an appointment with one of the therapists at Well Mind Body, click here.
Thank you for being here,
Dr. E
References
Addis, M. E., & Mahalik, J. R. (2003). Men, masculinity, and the contexts of help seeking. American Psychologist, 58(1), 5–14. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.58.1.5
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022). Suicide data and statistics.https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/suicide-data-statistics.html
Englar-Carlson, M., & Stevens, M. A. (Eds.). (2006). In the room with men: A casebook of therapeutic change. American Psychological Association.
National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Men and mental health.https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/men-and-mental-health
Paulson, J. F., & Bazemore, S. D. (2010). Prenatal and postpartum depression in fathers and its association with maternal depression. JAMA, 303(19), 1961–1969. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2010.605
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